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Last words of the semester

By: Kathryn Serpa

Issue date: 12/9/09 Section: Opinion
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Final Words

(Unabashedly stolen the following from messquoted.com)

You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations…

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

A religious war is like a group of children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.

When vultures fly, are they allowed a carrion bag?

I'm putting the 'laughter' back into manslaughter.

I'm putting the 'fun' back in funeral.

I'm putting the 'sensual' back into nonconsensual.

I'm putting the 'sexy' back in dyslexic.

Without me, it's just aweso.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

That was about as much fun as a game of Marco Polo with Helen Keller.

Jesus said to John: "Come forth and I will give you eternal life." John came fifth and all he got was a toaster.

I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool.

If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's "No More Tears," would it create beautiful irony?

…and remember:

…If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Happy holidays all. Make good choices.

Love,

Kate
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